No Subject

["Laurence W. Coen" <lwcoen@freewwweb.com>]

Subject: A story to live by

A Story To Live By
by Ann Wells (Los Angeles Times)

My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister's bureau
and lifted out a tissue-wrapped package.  "This," he said, "is not a
slip.  This is lingerie."  He discarded the tissue and handed me the
slip. It was exquisite; silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of
lace. The price tag with an astronomical figure on it was still
attached.  "Jan bought this the first time we went to New York, at
least 8 or 9 years ago. She never wore it. She was saving it for a
special occasion. Well, I guess this is the occasion."  He took the
slip from me and put it on the bed  with the other clothes we were
taking to the mortician. His hands lingered on the soft material for
a moment, then he slammed the drawer shut and turned to me. "Don't
ever save anything for a special occasion. Every day you're alive is
a special occasion."

I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that
followed when I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores
that follow an unexpected death. I thought about them on the plane
returning to California from the Midwestern town where my sister's
family lives. I thought about all the things that she hadn't seen or
heard or done. I thought about the things that she had done without
realizing that they were special. I'm still thinking about his words,
and they've changed my life. I'm reading more and dusting less. I'm
sitting on the deck and admiring the view without fussing about the
weeds in the garden. I'm spending more time with my family and
friends and less time in committee meetings. Whenever possible, life
should be a pattern of experience to savor, not  endure. I'm trying
to recognize these moments now and cherish them.

I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for
every  special event-such as losing a pound, getting the sink
unstopped, the  first camellia blossom.   I wear my good blazer to
the market if I feel like it. My theory is if  I look prosperous, I
can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries without wincing.
I'm not saving my good perfume for special parties; clerks in
hardware stores and tellers in banks have noses that function as well
as my party-going friends'. "Someday" and "one of these days" are
losing their grip on my vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing
or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now.

I'm not sure what my sister would have done had she known that she
wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we all take for granted. I think
she would have called family members and a few close friends. She
might have called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences
for past squabbles. I like to think she would have gone out for a
Chinese dinner, her favorite food. I'm guessing-I'll never know.
It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if I
knew that my hours were limited. Angry because I put off seeing good
friends whom I was going to get in touch with-someday.   Angry
because I hadn't written certain letters that I intended to write-one
of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my husband and
daughter often enough how much I truly love them. I'm trying very
hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that would add
laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning when I open my
eyes, I tell myself that it is special.

Every day, every minute, every breath truly is...a gift from God.
If you've received this it is because someone cares for you and it
means there is probably at least someone for whom you care.
If you're too busy to take the few minutes that it would take right
now to forward this to ten people, would it be the first time you
didn't do that little thing that would make a difference in your
relationships?   I can tell you it certainly won't be the last.  I
don't have to make up silly stories about people being hit by buses
or  crushed by falling disco balls for not sending this letter on.
You've seen the result of this neglect in your own relationships that
you have allowed to fade, dissolve, and fall into disrepair.

Take this opportunity to set a new trend.  Take a few minutes to
send this to a few people you care about, just to let them know that
you're thinking of them.  It's even better if  they're not the people
you already correspond with every week.  The more people that you
send this to, the better luck you will have. And the better you'll
get and reaching out to those you care about.